Lord love a duck![1]
(Oh my Godness) It’s Yellow time….again
Yellow
couldn’t stop but wondering why Ducks were considerate such un important
instance by the human race. He was still a young rubber duck but in that little
bathroom of him there was a dock-station and he happened to realize that the
various speakers very often used the world “duck”
to better explain themselves. Actually, he thought that the speaking thing
was called duck-station instead of dock-station, but this is beyond the point.
Yellow
wanted to have all his ducks in a row[2]
(have the facts straight) before confront his siblings again, he was tired of
being a sitting duck[3]
(target) for his bros and sis’ jokes on his fanciful theory. So, since the duck test[4]
proved to be like water off a duck's
back[5]
(without any apparent effect) and he wasn’t able
to persuade his rubber relatives, Yellow quietly ducked out[6]
(sneaked off) from his shelf and, in order to prove himself right, he went to consult
Shakespeare-duck on the matter.
Our
little rubber friend was being duck and
dive[7](
naïve), as always, but the rubber poet seemed very glad to be of help, it would
have been duck soup[8]
(easy to accomplish) for him.
It
was going to be all duck or no dinner[9]
(all or nothing), either him or his bros were already dead ducks[10].
Shakespeare-duck
ducked[11]
(what else could have done being a duck and everything?) his head and listened
intently to his little pal. He agreed with Yellow’s speculations and eventually,
articulated a complex theory that brilliantly proved the point. The plain
yellow rubber bath toy bounced all along the bath-tube’s edge.
He
knew the guys in the bathroom, although they really loved Shakey, couldn’t
really stand him blabbing for hours but he wasn’t really sure he wouldn’t have
been able to repeat whatever the heck he’d just said. However, Yellow was a very unlucky
duck. When, finally, the great orator joined him in his path to the greatest victory in all the bathroom history, something
had to happen. An ugly old duck (a sponge one nevertheless) approached them. To
Yellow disbelieve, they were now flirting and it was all but subtle. The sponge
duck was saying something about Shakespeare-duck’s beard and he was gloating.
Yellow urged Shakey to come but he dismissed him. Yellow wasn’t ready to throw the towel (= give up in defeat)
and surrender, not to his siblings. He didn’t think he could have arranged
something from the two hours explanation of his treacherous friend so he asked
him to briefly sum it up for him. He owed him this, at the very least.
Shakespeare-duck reluctantly complied. Yellow took to his lesson like a duck to water[12]
(to learn how to do something very quickly), trying to memorize everything in
the short time he had and went for his bros and sis.
They
started to listen but it was like milking
a duck[13]
(totally impossible), though maybe – just maybe - the real issue was that
his explanation made no sense at all. Soon, they started to laugh at his theory
…. again. Why on Heart couldn’t it have
him waited for the expert one to speak instead of making a fool of himself
again. He was so ashamed, he ducked and
covered[14] (sought
shelter) to avoid their mean jokes.
Yellow
was now as happy as a duck in Arizona[15] (unhappy) but he had definitely learned his weekly lesson. Next time he’d needed
Shakey’s help, he’d have to drown that heinous, mud duck[16]
(ugly) …. oh well …. duck in a bucket
full of soaped water, to be used in the afterwards of course, Yellow was a duck-squeezer[17]
(environmental) duck guy after all and he
didn’t want to make ducks and drakes[18]
(waste) of good water.
[1] Lord love a duck: an
exclamation of surprise. Fig. My goodness!
[2] to get (or have) one's ducks
in a row: North American informal, means either get (or have) one’s facts
straight – or – get (or have) everything organized;
[3] sitting duck: fig. someone or
something vulnerable to attack, physical or verbal. Alludes to a duck floating
on the water, not suspecting that it is the object of a hunter or predator;
[4] duck test: a form of logical, intuitive
reasoning to deduce the nature of an uncertain thing or situation, usually in
the absence or in spite of concrete evidence. Adapted from the saying, "If
it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it's
probably a duck”;
[5] like water off a duck's back: without
any apparent effect. Ducks' feathers are waterproof. The preen (or, formally,
the uropygial) gland at the base of the tail produces oil that spreads and
covers the birds' outer coat so that water forms droplets on, but does not
permeate, the feathers. That's why a critical remark that doesn't bother the
person for whom it was intended rolls off like water off a duck's back.
[6] duck out: fig. to sneak out
of some place;
[7] being duck and dive: mostly
UK, one’s ingenuity to deal with or evade a situation (Oxford English
Dictionary).
[8] duck soup: easy to
accomplish. The first appearance of the phrase was in a 1902 newspaper cartoon
that had nothing to do with ducks. Not then and not now has anybody been able
to suggest a likely derivation;
[9] all duck or no dinner: of a
situation, action, or effort resulting in either total success or total
failure. All or nothing;
[10] dead duck: American and
Australian informal, someone who is going to be punished severely for something
they have done;
[11] to duck: to move (the head or body)
quickly downwards or away;
[12] to take to something like a
duck to water: to learn how to do something very quickly and to enjoy doing it.
[13] milk a duck: to do [or not
do] something totally impossible.
[14] duck and cover: to seek
shelter. Comes from raid drills practiced in the anticipation of nuclear attack
in the elementary or secondary school during the 1950s and '60s. At the
teacher's command “duck and cover,” pupils would stop whatever you were doing,
drop down under the desk or against a wall, and assuming a fetal position,
interlace the fingers of both hands behind your neck in a “covering” pose;
[15] happy as a duck in Arizona: unhappy.
Ducks like water. Arizona is a largely arid state. Ergo, an unhappy person
would be as unhappy as a teal in Tucson. Contrast that condition with someone
who is as happy as a clam at high tide or as a flea in a doghouse;
[16] mud duck: ugly person;
[17] duck-squeezer: someone with
strong concerns about the environment and conservation, especially rescuing
oil-covered ducks;
[18] make ducks and drakes: squander
or waste, comes from the a game in which a flat stone is bounced across the
surface of water;
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