EP. 11 - YELLOW SAPEVA CHE LA MATEMATICA ERA PERICOLOSA

Chanel guardava fuori dalla finestra e sospirava. Nostante amasse la sua nuova famiglia, non poteva fare a meno di pensare al suo migliore amico tutto solo al buio dentro un cassetto. Lei non poteva certo sapere che Théo era da poco in compagnia di un’altra paperella francese. Quest’ultima veniva da Parigi, naturalmente. Ma non da un qualsivoglia negozio, lui proveniva da una profumeria di Monmartre, il quartiere degli artisiti e era – anche lui – un grande artista. Il suo nome era Paul ma gli piaceva farsi chiamare Monet. Le due paperelle condividevano molti interessi, amavano le stesse cose e, ed ora arriva la parte migliore, erano follemente innamorati. Non era che Théo non si ricordasse della sua migliore amica,  piuttosto è che erano persi l’uno per l’altro. Tutto qua.

Le paperelle di gomma che oramai conosciamo anche troppo bene, sono paperelle molto operose ma si prendono tutte cura le une delle altre.

Durante l’ultima ora, Yellow, suo fratello Orange e la papera Centurione si erano scambiati diverse occhiate. Volevano vedere la loro amichetta rosa sorridere nuovamente.

Yellow si ricordava di aver sentito Chanel sproloquiare spesso di un blog di moda della sua padrona precedente e, chiaccherando con lei, era riuscito a strapparle informazioni preziose .

Alla luce della sua operazione di spionaggio, erano riusciti a connettersi al blog ed alla telecamera del computer dal tablet che (da prima di halloween) tenevano nascosto sotto una asciugamani. Incredibilmente, Centurione era un hacker formidabile. Chanel ora stava sulla lavatrice con tutti e tre (Yellow, Orange e Centurione) e saltellava da per tutto, troppo eccitata per stare ferma un secondo.

Quando finalmente lo schermo le mostrò Théo, lo vide insieme al suo nuovo amico, una foto di Parigi alle loro spalle e cuoricini di carta che volavano intorno a loro.

Chanel era sdegnata e furiosa. Era stata preoccupata per tutto il tempo mentre lui se ne era altamente fregato di lei.

Prima che Théo potesse parlare, diventò paonazza dalla rabbia (Orange – fan sfegatato di film sui supereroi – pensò che stesse per diventare verde e muscolosa) e cercò di afferrare la prima cosa che le si parasse davanti.

Naturalmente cosa altro avrebbe potuto essere se non il nostro piccolo amico di plastica! Afferrò Yellow con la sola forza delle sue mani e lo lanciò lontano …… ormai dovreste sapere dove.

Giù sul fondo della vasca da bagno, Yellow sbuffò ma non disse una parola. Poteva sentire Théo piagnucolare e Chanel che strillava. Quando Orange lo raggiunse, testa sotto e coda per aria, si guardarono dalla loro posizione bizzarra ma non proferirono parola.

Morale della favola, fate attenzione alla matematica: è complicata e pericolosa. I triangoli sono un pericolo mortale non solo perché sono appuntiti.

EP.11 - YELLOW KNEW MATH WAS DANGEROUS

Chanel was looking out the window and sighing (sospirare). She loved her new family but couldn’t help but think about his best friend all alone in a dark drawer. She couldn’t know that Thèo had been joined by another French duck. The latter was from Paris, of course. He didn’t came from any gift shop, he was from a perfume shop in Monmartre, the artist’s district, and he was – himself – a great artist. His real name was Paul but he liked to be called Monet.  They shared many interests, they loved the very same things and, here come the best part, they were madly in love. It was not that he didn’t remember his pink best friend, he was just lost in Monet’s eyes. Simple as that.

The rubber duchies we now know all too well, were all very busy ducks but they all took great care of each other. Along the hour, Yellow, his bro Orange and Centurion had been sharing glances. They wanted to see their little pink pal (I know I should have said gal but, you know, when guys have a friend they think of her ad a guy even though she is a girl….a very pink and girlish girl) smile again.

Yellow remembered Chanel talking about her former owner’ fashion blog and, chitchatting with her, he stole her vital information on the matter.

Given this precious intel, they managed to connect to the blog and the computer camera from the tablet they were still hiding (since before Halloween) under a towel.

Unbelievably, Centurion duck was the hell of a hacker. Chanel was on the washing machine with the three of them (Yellow, Orange and Centurion) and was bumping all over the place to excited to stay still even for a second.

When the screen finally showed her Théo, he was with his new pal, a photo of Paris behind their backs and little paper hearts were flowing in the air.

She was now scorned and enraged. She’d been worried the whole time and he’d hardly gave a damn ‘bout her.

Before Théo could say a single word, she became red with rage (Orange – a sucker for superheroes’ movie – thought she was going to became green and put some muscle on) and reached for the first thing she could grasp. Of course it had to be our little rubber friend Yellow. She took him with her very own hand and threw him away…..well by now you should know were.

Down on the bath-tube floor Yellow scoffed and didn’t say a word. He could hear Théo whining and Chanel screaming. When Orange joined him, head down and tail in the air, they looked at each other awkwardly but remained silent.

Bottom line, beware math: itsucks and can be dangerous. Triangles are life threatening stuff and it is not because they are pointy. 

EP.10 - YELLOW E LA STORIA DEGLI INCASTRI

Era stato un giorno molto lungo per la nostra paperella di gomma visto che lui ed il suo fratellino Orange si trovavano  sul fondo della vasca da bagno e nessuno li aveva ancora salvati. Non che comunque volessero essere salvati.  Proprio sopra al mobile del bagno c’era un orso terrificante con due terribili pozze nere che chiamava occhi e delle spaventose orecchie rotonde. Fino a due ore prima Yellow non credeva nell’ esistenza degli orsi, figurarsi di orsi con la maglietta rossa.

Ad essere sinceri i due fratellini fingevano di essere due papere impavide ma erano solo due paperelle che si spaventano facilmente e, dopo il film di Halloween, se l’erano praticamente fatta sotto.

Adesso il protagonista del film stazionava sotto le loro teste e cercava disperatamente di convincerli di essere uno dei buoni. Yellow e Orange sapevano che non era così.

Gli disse che il suo nome era Winnie the Pooh, era un dispenser dacché ne aveva memoria ed era pieno zeppo di bagnoschiuma al miele. 
Si dichiarava anche pronto a dividere il bagnoschiuma con loro.
Yellow non gli credeva un granché ma lui raccontava storie divertenti su uncerto bosco dei 100 acri (qualunque cavolo di cosa fosse) ed era sempre più convincente.

Ad un certo punto, per dimostrare di avere ragione, decise di aiutare a tirarli fuori dalla vasca. Aveva anche un piano ed era in prima liea nelle operazioni di soccorso.

Dal momento che la vasca era troppo scivolosa, Yellow e Orange erano rimasti bloccati là sotto, Winnie pensò bene di utilizzare la cinta dell'accappatoio (inverosimilmente rosa) in modo che i due fratelli vi si potessero arrampicare e raggiungere il bordo della vasca. Yellow pensò che, in fin dei conti, non era un'orso così terribile.

Stavano per contare fino a tre quando il dispenser a forma di papera spinse - lui disse in seguito che si era rtattato di un malaugurato incidente - (invidiosetto?) il dispenser di Winnie the pooh dal bordo della vasca.

L'orso dispensatore di sapone cadde giù. Yellow lo vide cadere ma non fece in tempo a reagire. Winnie lo colpì e lo spinse verso sinistra. appena Winnie si riprese, si guardò interno e vide una scena ridicola. Orange si stava sbellicando dalle risate e Yellow....beh Yellow era incastrato nello scarico della doccia e non si poteva muovere. L'orso lo aveva involontariamente spinto là dentro a causa del suo notevole peso, e lo aveva fatto incastrare. Yellow lo sapeva, l'orso era malvagio. Morale della favola: se siete in pericolo non affidatevi ad un orso, peggiorerà solo le cose.

10 - AND YELLOW FINALLY KNEW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GETTING STUCK AND BEING STUCK

It had been a very long day for our rubber friend, he and his brother Orange, were still  into the tube and nobody had come to their rescue. Not that they really wanted to be rescued. Just on top of the cabinet there was a scary bear watching them with those little black holes he called eyes and those scaring rounded ears. Two hours before yellow did believed bears did not exist, let alone bears with red shirts.

To be honest the two brothers pretended to be dare ducks but instead, deep down they were just baby ducks and they scared easily and after the Halloween movie, they had chickened out.

Now the movie star hovered over their heads and was desperately trying to tell them he was one of the good guys. Though Yellow and Orange knew he was most definitely not.

He told them his name was Winnie the Pooh, he was a dispenser ever since he could remember and he was chock full of honey flavored soap. He was also willing to share the soap with them.

Yellow didn’t really believed him but he told them nice stories about a Hundred Acre Wood (whatever the heck it was) and he was more and more convincing by the minute. At one point, to prove his point, he decided to help rescue them from the bottom of the tube. He had a plan and he was in first line. The tube was too slippery so they had been stuck there, he was planning to drop the belt of the (oh gosh! so very pink) toweling robe so Yellow and his bro could climb it in order to reach the bathtub edge. Yellow started to think he was that bad of a bear after all. They were going to count to three. One, two….and duck dispenser pushed – he said it had been an accident -  (envious much?) the Winnie the Pooh dispenser from the edge.

The bear soap-bringer fell down. Yellow saw him coming but had no time to react. Winnie hit him and pushed him on the left. As soon as Winnie recovered he looked around and found a funny scene. Orange was guffawing desperately and Yellow….well Yellow was stuck in the shower drain and couldn’t move. The bear had involuntarily pushed him there and ‘cause of his heaviness, had  managed to stuck him there. Yellow knew it, the bear was evil.

Bottom line: if you are in danger don’t pin yours hopes on a bear, he will only make it worse.

YELLOW PRESENTA: LO SPECIALE DI HALLOWEEN

Era Halloween. Tutti nel bagno erano eccitati all'idea. Yellow non aveva idea di cosa si festeggiasse ad Halloween. Aveva avuto qualche difficoltà a capire che roba fosse il Natale, non sarebbe stato semplice spiegargli cosa festeggiavano ad Halloween. Orange, il fratellino intraprendente di Yellow, e la papera Centurione (passavano molto tempo insieme dal momento che condividevano la passione per le situazioni ad alto rischio) erano riusciti a nascondere sotto un asciugamano un dispositivo – un iquack o qualcosa del genere – ed adesso stavano cercando di accenderlo per vedere un film di Halloween.

Si trattava di un film dell’orrore, il pubblico poteva considerarsi avvisato.

Yellow chiese, a nessuno in particolare, informazioni sulla festività. Orange li azzittì tutti, guardò Yellow dritto negli occhi ed assentì “Questa è la storia, fratello, Halloween è la festa delle zucche. Ti ricordi il giorno del tacchino? È la stessa cosa ma con le zucche.” Chanel sbuffò “Sei uno sciocchino, petite mandarine, si tratta di moda. È un giorno dedicato a vestirsi come fa la gente strana così, per un giorno, non si sentono differenti. Gli si danno anche dei dolcetti così sanno che anche se non si sanno vestire, le persone gli vogliono bene lo stesso.” Ambedue le spiegazioni avevano senso, pensò Yellow mentre i due  iniziarono a bisticciare su chi avesse ragione.

“Ho fatto, mettetevi a sedere.” Disse la papera Centurione. Tutti quanti si sedettero silenziosamente sul piano della lavatrice e iniziarono a guardare il film “Il primo Halloween di Efelante”. Il film trattava di un elefante ed un  piccolo di canguro che volevano rimpiazzare le caramelle per Halloween che avevano mangiato, strani fantasmi e persone (o quello che erano) trasformate in zucche. Trasformati alla bibidi bobidi boo. Alla fine, si trattava di un fraintendimento e non c’erano né fantasmi né mostri che trasformavano la gente in nessuna cosa, comunque il film aveva spaventato a morte la nostra paperella di plastica. Era quasi il tramonto e le papere gettavano lunghe ombre sui muri del bagno.  Yellow avrebbe potuto giurare che le ombre si muovessero da sole. Scappò a nascondersi. Si andò a nascondere sotto l’asciugamano usato per nascondere il tablet. Si vedeva solo la coda e stava tremando. L’immagine dello  strano orso con la maglietta rossa ed il sorriso diabolico lo perseguitava. Gli amici terrorizzati dall’ombra della madre del piccolo Canguro e la foresta buia, era pauroso ma poteva affrontarlo, quell’orso gigantesco con la maglietta rossa ed il sorriso diabolico decisamente no.

Orange tentò di spiegare al fratello che si trattava di un film e non aveva niente a che fare con la realtà. Non esisteva una cosa come gli orsi o peggio degli orsi che indossassero magliette rosse nel mondo reale, l’eventualità non sussisteva.

Nel frattempo, nell'armadietto, un vecchio dispenser a forma di Winnie the Pooh fu svegliato dall'audio del suo film di Halloween.  Dal momento che voleva vederlo anche lui, bussò alla porta dell’armadietto in cerca di aiuto per uscire di lì. Tutte le paperelle sulla lavatrice potevano sentire solamente strani suoni confusi e quando alzarono lo sguardo verso l’armadietto, videro l’anta muoversi da sola. Violet (si presupponeva fosse quella intelligente) urlò, la papera Centurione si infilò l’elmo, Shakespeare sobbalzò, Scott si gettò davanti alla Regina e Yellow, oh beh, lui rimase impalato lì dov'era. Orange e Chanel si guardarono con gli occhi inverosimilmente spalancati. “Come era la storia di Halloween?”  chiese Yellow a tutti e due, a nessuno in particolare. Non riusciva proprio a muoversi al momento, figurarsi spostare lo sguardo dall'armadietto. Dopo un pochino l’anta si aprì e ed un grande dispenser a forma di Winnie the Pooh ne venne fuori con un enorme sorriso stampato sul viso. Tipo il sorriso del Joker di Batman. Inquietante, no?  Yellow si girò alla propria sinistra e vide che Orange  lo guardava. Si abbracciarono, strillarono e caddero dal bordo della lavatrice. Yellow, tanto per cambiare, era ancora una volta sul pavimento ma stavolta la caduta era stata tutto fuorché accidentale. Erano saltati volontariamente per allontanarsi dall'orso mostruoso e non avevano nessuna intenzione di risalire. Non nell'immediato futuro, comunque sia.

Morale della favola, gli orsi esistono ed indossano magliette rosse.   

YELLOW PRESENTS: THE HALLOWEEN SPECIAL

It was Halloween. Everyone in the bathroom was excited about it. 

Yellow didn’t know what this festivity was. He has had a hard time understanding what Christmas was so it wasn’t going to be an easy task  explaining him what they celebrated on Halloween. Orange duck, Yellow’s very enterprising brother, and Centurion (they hang out quite often since they shared a passion for high risk situations) had managed to hide under a towel a devise - an iquack they called it - and now they were trying to turn it on so to watch an Halloween movie.

It was an horror movie, audience discretion was advised.

Yellow asked, to no one in particular, about this festivity.  Orange shushed them all, looked Yellow in the eyes and nodded to himself. “Here’s the deal bro, Halloween is the festivity of the pumpkins. Do you remember the turkey day? It’s the same thing but with pumpkins.” Chanel scoffed “You are a silly boy, petite mandarine, it’s about fashion. It’s a day dedicated to dress like the strange people do so, for a day they won’t feel different. You also give them candies so they know that even though they don’t know how to dress, people still love them.” They both made sense, Yellow considered while they started bickering over who was right.

“I got it, take a seat.” Centurion duck said. They quietly sat on the washing machine’s top and started to watch the movie “Pooh's Heffalump Halloween Movie”. It was about an elephant and a little Kangaroo trying to replace the eaten candies, strange ghosts and people (or whatever) changed into pumpkins. Like bibidi bobidi boo changed. In the end, it was all a misunderstanding and there were no ghosts or monsters changing people into anything nevertheless, the movie had scared the hell out of our little rubber ducky friend. It was almost twilight and the ducks casted long shadows on the bathroom walls. Yellow could have sworn the shadows were moving by their own will. He ducked and covered. He actually crawled under the towel used to hide the tabled. Only his tail was there to be seen and it was trembling.  The strange bear with the red shirt and the diabolical smile hunted him. The pals terrified by the little Kangaroo’s mother shadow and the forest at night, it was scary but manageable, that big bear with that creepy voice though, it  was most definitely not.

Orange tried to explain to his bro that it was a movie and it wasn’t real. There was no such a thing as bears or bears wearing red shirts in the real word, not a chance.

Meantime, in the cabinet,  the very old Winnie the Pooh shaped dispenser woke up at the sound of his Halloween movie. He wanted to watch it to so he knocked at the cabinet’s door and called for help. All the ducks on the washing machine could hear were strange muffled sounds and when they looked up towards the cabinet, they saw the door moving by himself. Violet (she was supposed to be the smart one) screamed, Centurion duck put his helmet on, Shakespeare ducked away,  Scott threw himself in front of his Queen and Yellow, oh well, he froze were he stood. Orange and Chanel looked at each other with impossible wide eyes. “What was it about this so called Halloween?” Yellow asked to both of them, to neither of them. He couldn’t really move at the moment, let alone turn around his head from the cabinet.

After a while the door spread open and a big Winnie the Pooh dispenser come out with a huge smile painted on his face. Like the batman’s joker smile. Creepy much?

Yellow turned on his left to find Orange watching him. They grabbed one another, screamed and went off the cliff of the washing machine.

Yellow was again on the floor but this time the fall had been all but incidental.  They had actually jumped away from the monstrous bear and they had no intention to climb up. Not anytime soon anyway.

Bottom line, bears do exist and they wear red shirts. It was the unbearable thruth. 

EP.9 - THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE YELLOW'S HOME

Lately Chanel was really sad. During her previous accommodation, in the pink bedroom of her owner, she was used to chitty chat with her best friend Thèo. He was a French rubber ducky too. They had breakfast together every morning and he kissed her (head) goodnight every night before going back to his drawer. He was passionate about fashion, like every

French born duck, and had the cutest striped shirt. Thèo had a thing for coffee and his brown complexion was the perfect match for his brewed drink. Chanel really missed him. She didn’t talk about him much but she quite often mistaken the other ducks’ name and called them Thèo. Yellow wanted to somehow help her but he didn’t know how to. He went to Violet, she always came up with ideas and follow through,  Yellow usually missed the second part. She was thinking so hard Yellow could hear her brain working. Orange joined them, a blank stare plastered on his face when they asked him to think of something. He was a duck of action. He mimicked his sister in order to make fun of her but she gave him a big smile. Yellow and Orange exchanged a worried glance, that was very unusual of her. “You are a genius!” she said. “Am I?” replied Orange. “Is he?” asked our rubber friend Yellow. “Yeh….Hey! Bro…..”. Violet stopped them before it was too late. How could they be related to her, they were – both – so dumb. “May I tell you my plan or do you want to argue first?” They took their sweet time before answering. They wouldn’t have bothered fighting a little bit but she looked at them with dangerous eyes and they shushed. Meanwhile Violet took the self-tanning cream and the make-up palette and started painting Orange, Yellow ran away to summon up all the bathroom rubber ducks. By the end of the day they were all painted to resemble Thèo.

When Chanel saw them she thought it was a terrifying spectacle but she smiled because she knew they had done it out of love and because, for the first time since Yellow had opened her pink box, she felt like home. Yellow hugged her and said “You may have lost one Thèo but now you have plenty of Thèos!” She was going to thank him when it occurred to her that, by hugging her, he’d trashed her scarf. She was such a mess she actually cried. She could have killed him, she could have killed them all. Yellow tried to apologize. He begged but she was so angry she was almost red. Violet took the scarf and assured her they’d clean it up. There was no plural when it came to cleaning though. Yellow (who - God knows why - in the end was the only guilty one) spent the night in the bathtub washing the scarf.

Bottom line, there is be no place like home because it’s only at home that you can love and be mad at someone at the same time and Yellow loved and hated them all at the moment.